"Why would anyone willingly come here for anything but working in the mining fields or a place for extreme physical training?" Devia thought to herself. "It's a good place to cast out internal conflict. You can lose your problems for a short while when fighting to save your life, that much is for certain."
Sitting out on the overhang over the lava falls at the Mesnix Mining Facility, she pulls a towel out of her pack, wiping the sweat off her forehead and the back of her neck. Frowning at the grime that covers it, she rolls it back up and stows it away again. Moving slowly, she pops the vertebrae in her neck and back, bringing some relief to her tension... but not all of it was physical...
"Conflict. Internal conflict. Yeah... I've had a great deal of that lately." She says out loud, causing one of the Mustafarian miners to look at her with an odd expression. Chuckling to herself she waves at the miner, confusing him more, she walks inside of the building, heading for the Cantina.
She orders a drink and sits in one of the back corner booths, her back to the wall so she can watch the entire room and her back at the same time. "Old habits die hard." She thinks to herself with a smirk. Gazing down at the amber liquid in the glass in front of her, then making sure that nobody was within earshot, she taps a few buttons on her datapad and starts to record again... talking about the past...
"He became my friend so quickly, and the pull twords him was almost magnetic right from the start. The night at the Jam when I showed up and danced for a while, I could almost feel his startlement when he looked at me for the first time as I danced on stage. I was not used to the attention he tried to pay to me, so I slipped out the door to avoid it. I was still too raw, not ready for the complications he could possibly mean in my life. *soft chuckle* How he managed to find me... actually, what was more impressive is how he sliced his way past the door locks to surprise me as I was working on my latest batch of armor. He just sat there and watched for a while... then we started chatting as I worked. He was interested in the manufacture of each piece. *laughing* The stinker managed to slip in several rather personal questions, and I was just as shocked to find myself answering them!"
She takes a long pull off her glass before she continues speaking quietly into the recording device.
"We saw a great deal of each other after that. Socially, that is. Lots of hunting, most of it on Kashyyyk in the Myyydril Caverns. Then one night after a particularly rough trip through, and lots of bumps and bruises.. Invited everyone over to soak in the tub and have something to eat... but he was the only one to accept.."
She smiles to herself as she remembers what happened that night, but decides not to go into great detail.
"We spent more and more time together after that. Days... and nights. *slight chuckle* That's when he started talking about how he was willing to change everything he was for me, to make me want to be with him, to change who he was right at his very core. I think that's what really.. well.. I wasn't ready to hear that from anyone. I wouldn't ever really WANT to hear that from anyone. If you truly love someone, you would never ask them to change, or expect them to change. That may have been why I drifted away from him... that's when Syclya turned my world upside down."
Devia drains the rest of her glass, then signals the waitress for a refill. Taking the glass from the young Bothan, she leaves a small pile of credit chits equaling the price of the drink at least 3 fold.
"I think he softened me up... started to break down my barriers, which allowed Syclya to come in and knock the walls down completely. I did love her, I thought she was Tai Shan because of how strongly I reacted to her advances, to her love. She told me that she wasn't in love with Cobb, but that she had always hoped that one day.. *sad smile* that she would have a chance with me. My heart melted for her the day I found Katana dead in the Janta Cave that was near to where Wildfire plains once stood. Kisal got me home, but Syclya took the remains. She buried Katana just outside of my Solace in Reilig Steppes. I still remember standing in the rain, looking down at the fresh gravestone, and finally telling her that I loved her. *a long pause* Little did I know that our time together would be all too brief."
She takes another large drink from the new glass in front of her, then continues.
"Syclya disappeared suddenly from my life.. We didn't see each other for long periods of time. But what hurt the worst was the reports I was seeing on the Alliance information net, that she was seen with Cobb again, in Imperial Armor, and was listed amongst their database as a new recruit. I tried to talk to her about it. A while later, I started feeling things about her. The "dark" side of the force was eating her alive from the inside. Sure, she was more powerful than I have ever felt her before, but she was no longer the Syclya I fell in love with."
Devia dabs at her eyes with the bar napkin, her eyes a bit red with the tears she refused to shed in public.
"A day or so later, I lost my Children to the Imperial Troops. I've always hoped that she didn't turn me in to the empire, I always wondered how they managed to track me down so fast. The trauma of that, causing my connection to the force to blossom into full power suddenly and painfully. I know she felt it because I heard her say "Be careful, Devia. I can feel that you've found the power within yourself. *pause* She knew I was near death. She knew I was in pain. She didn't come to my side. I was suddenly certain, she no longer wanted to be with me. I remember the conversations I had with her mind to mind.. I remember facing Cobb in Reilig, demanding that he let her go... to give her back. I remember his mocking tone when he told me that she had made the decision on her own to be with him... I realized finally that she had made her choice. I could only give her my love, but Cobb could give her so much more of what she longed for. It broke my heart, but... I let her go."
She finishes off her second drink and looks thoughtfully at the amber residue.
"I'm sure that Noel didn't mean those things he told me the other night at his retreat... I'm sure it was the Scotch talking.. we were both rather drunk.. I mean, why would he still think so fondly of us as a couple after our failure the first time around?"
She turns off the recorder... looking around, she starts to gather her things to head back to Dantooine... but she suddenly stops, one thought rings through her mind, causing it to spin.
"...Noel came to my side that night..."
Cast your troubles on the sands of Mustafar...
Saturday, February 18, 2006
posted by Devia at 5:57 PM
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